Let's Talk About Making Friends at University

By Subomi Lawal

Surrounding yourself with the right people is important, as Jim Rohn said, “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”. This means that being particular about who you surround yourself with can be useful because whether we believe it or not, people influence people and friends influence each other. The friends you make at every stage of your life will have a significant impact on who you become.

Looking back into our childhood, it can be hard to remember ever being taught how to make friends. It can even be a challenge to pinpoint an exact moment where we actively tried to make a friend when we were younger as it can seem as if our childhood friendships were always there. However, making friends when starting university can require real effort. Below are some tips which can help in the process of making friends at university.

Don’t rush into it

A wise person once said, “making friends in university is something not to rush into because they can be very tricky”. If there’s only one thing you take from this article, then just remember that statement. Don’t rush into being friends with the first people you meet. This is a common mistake made early on in university as rushing into being friends with people who you normally wouldn’t be friends with, isn’t necessarily what’s going to be best for you. It can take a while to find the right friendships and the right people. Therefore, take your time when making friends, as the right friends will find you if you stay true to yourself along the way.

University group chats and societies are key

University group chats are essentially made for you to meet people before you arrive at university, a lot of friendships can be formed simply from participating in these group chats. Don’t be afraid to privately message someone you like from a group chat, because a good amount of people are most likely doing the same thing. Another thing that goes hand in hand with joining group chats, is joining societies and sport clubs. Societies and sport clubs are one of the best places to make friends in university because one thing has already been established; a similar interest. A similar interest alone, can kick everything off. Essentially, get as involved in clubs, societies, and group chats as you can. However, make sure you only participate in group chats and get involved in as many societies as you feel is right for you. We all have different personalities, capacities and preferences so try not to put pressure on yourself too much and get involved in whatever you would like to. Choosing quality over quantity can be what’s needed when joining groups and making friends as some key friendships can be much more beneficial than an erray of unhelpful superficial friendships.

Be careful with friendship groups

Although being in a “friendship group” can be fun and provide a sense of community and security, they can also be risky. Friendship groups can limit you and feel restrictive if you commit to a group that’s not quite right for you too early. They can also mean that you miss out on building an erray of different friendships from different spheres. You’ll most likely have different friends for different occasions, and that’s okay. Some friends are great for a nice walk in the park, some for a night out, some are great for when you need support and some for late night library session. So, don’t limit yourself by only staying with “the group”. Acquaint yourself with different people whenever you get the chance and don’t feel the need to be attached to a particular group from the start of university.

There’s a lot of technicalities that goes into making friends at university, whether that’s being the one to say hi first or putting a door stop on your door for the first few days after moving in, to seem friendly and open to conversation. Some of these well-known tips you can put in place from the get go, while others, you can figure out along the way. Remember that none of us are professionals at making friends, but hopefully some of the thoughts covered in this article can help you feel more equipped to do so. Therefore, take from it what you will, and remember that there are people out there who you will click with even if they aren’t directly in front of you at this present moment. Try to practice patience while being proactive so that you can make the best friends possible while at university.